My Own Methadone

I imagine that heroin addicts and women who are addicted to emotionally unavailable beautiful men are not so different from each other. Heroin addicts are addicted to heroin and they are sent to detox to get better. Women who are addicted to emotionally unavailable men go on Man Diets to get better. The equation is the same: ADDICT - SUBSTANCE + DETOX = REHABBED The upshot of my Man Diet is all of this extra time to focus on Building a Better Me. The major drawbacks, of course, are the occasional bouts of loneliness, the lack fun dates and … well … you know, the fact that I’m not getting any. I’m hornier than two midgets in a porno movie. And, if heroin addicts get methadone when weaning themselves off of the hard stuff, what do the Man Dieters get? New vibrators? That’s just not going to cut it. I need something a little stronger than that. Not methadone, but another nine letter word: FuckBuddy I miss my Fuck Buddies from back home; I’d lived in the same town for years, so I had a boy or two that I could call whenever I needed to take the edge off. I don't have a fuck buddy in New York. What is the substitute for a Fuck Buddy?